Chapter 16 Cont'd - Ways to Practice Acceptance

Today we will be covering three ways to practice true acceptance.

1.  Receive him with thanksgiving. 

Focusing on the good qualities of our husbands can make us grateful for all they do offer to our marriages.  Focusing more on the good stuff overshadows the faults.  Keeping a positive attitude in life has a huge impact in all areas of our lives.

2.  Recognize his humanity.

I loved this quote in the book and think it sums up this point.  "Wives, our husbands are human beings not soap opera stars, rock stars or runway models.  They are pain and pressure, love and laughter, strength and weakness dwelling within three layers of skin."  We can't put unrealistic expectations on our men anymore than we can put them on ourselves!

3.  Embrace his individuality. 

Oh boy, my husband has quite his own personality and traits.  I have never met anyone like him.  He's funny yet sarcastic, thoughtful and sweet to the point of being too nice.  He's always coming up with new ideas.  There is never a dull moment.   Sometimes that sarcastic side and his ADD personality jumping around from project to project can wear on me.  But I have to remember the way he can make me laugh and his enthusiasm are some of the reasons I fell in love with him. 

With all of this said, we need to remember that our acceptance "doesn't necessarily stand for approval."  But we need to remember his actions are his own responsibility.   As we keep talking about, we must continually strive to be good examples.

1 Peter 3:1-2 NIV

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

We should live our lives to be examples not only to our husbands, but to our family, friends, co-workers and a lost world.

Chapter 16 Cont'd - True Acceptance

Women just love to fix things.  We feel the need to improve and fix - to make things prettier, don't we?  So naturally we get this crazy notion in our heads that we can change our husbands.  Umm...news flash!  That is totally impossible!

"Changing ourselves is such a difficult task, changing another is an impossible one.  We 'accept' one as he is because self-improvement is his personal responsibility - not yours.  By changing our focus we see where he excels and to put in bluntly - where we fail."

God can change a person - all we can do is work on ourselves and pray.  We first need to focus on what we need to change about ourselves to be more Christ-like so we can be a better example.  And we can also pray for God to work in that other person's heart.

Paul said this to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:11-16 when he wrote to him on how to carry out his ministry:

Command and teach these things. Let no one look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in your speech, conduct, love, faithfulness, and purity. Until I come, give attention to the public reading of scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the spiritual gift you have, given to you and confirmed by prophetic words when the elders laid hands on you. Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that everyone will see your progress.  Be conscientious about how you live and what you teach. Persevere in this, because by doing so you will save both yourself and those who listen to you.

This applies to us today as well.  "Set an example for the believers in your speech, conduct, love, faithfulness, and purity."  We have to live our lives in a God-honoring way to be able to have the power to influence others.  We can't have a mindset of "Do as I say, not as I do."

And we have to be truly accepting of our husband and be respectful.  If acceptance is defined as "to accommodate or reconcile oneself to" then Darlene says "By accommodating we make room for his failures, and through reconciliation we reunite ourselves to him."

Just like me, my husband is going to make mistakes.  He's going to have bad days.  His flesh is going to wrestle with his spirit - just like me.  I have to remember to be patient and encourage him - not fly off the handle and tear him down.  Showing my husband true acceptance does not mean that I can't share truth with him a a loving manner.  For us, when we have discussions about Godly living, it really helps us both to admit our weaknesses so we can help each other in those areas.  

Tomorrow we will cover three ways we can practice and apply true acceptance in our marriages.  Please share with the group today if you have anything to add to this.