Excess

Titus 2:11-14 NIV
For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

Self control.  No to worldly passions.  More than ever, I'm seeing excess is sin.

On to the Organizing!

We have spent the last two weeks working on tossing things out and lightening the load.  The older I get, the more I realize that less is best.

Although I have plenty more to go through in our home, I think it's time to move on to Schedule 2 on organizing our homes.  I will personally continue tossing things out as I start organizing and gaining some much needed order in our home.  Organization is not my strong suit but it sure does make things easier when I am organized.

Titus 2:4-5 NIV
Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Different versions use different words, but this verse is very clear that we as women are in charge of keeping our homes.  Now this doesn't mean other family members don't have to do anything around the house!  We should get everyone involved.  And organizing our homes so everything has a place will make it so much easier for everyone to put things back in their place.

So what do you already do now to keep areas organized?  If you have the gift of organization,  please share with those of us (me!!) that are organizationally challenged.

So how did it go?

How did Day One of tossing out 25 things go for everyone?  Any tips to share or stories to encourage?

Darlene gives 4 guidelines in this chapter to consider when you are deciding on things to toss.  I encourage you to read over these and keep these things in mind this week as you go through your belongings.

Yesterday, I started in my kitchen.  I know I pulled out more than 25 things to get rid of, and I still need to go through a few more things.  But I can see a major improvement already.  For now, Darlene says to focus on the 25 things.  You can always go back to that room later.  The goal is to lighten your load right now.  So today I will tackle our master bedroom.  It needs some major decluttering!

Let's Lighten the Load

Today we start Schedule One - Toss Out 25 Things.

Last week I said we will go through each room of the house this week and toss out 25 things from each room.  I know some rooms may not have 25 things to toss out, but really be thorough in lightening your load.  If you have kids, get them involved.  I know both of my kids have plenty to go through in several rooms of our house!

Let's remember these verses this week as we are going through our wordly possessions:

Matthew 6:19-21 NIV
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.    But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.    For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Luke 16:13 NIV
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

Chapter 16 Conclusion - "Submission Isn't Permission"

Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

This last section covers what submission isn't.  It's not a license to be controlling to the point of manipulation or coercion.  With her own personal experience, I think Darlene did a great job discussing this and I will use mostly her words in this post.

"According to my understanding of scripture, the chain of command looks like this:

1. God
2. The Law
3. The Husband
4. The Wife
5. Their Children

Within that chain of command we are given a set of boundaries that must line up with scripture and the ultimate will of God. When we step out of that plan, we step out of the chain of command. Because I am in authority over my children, I do not have the right to abuse them or break the law. I am under submission to God, the law and to my husband, and therefore my sphere of authority is dictated by such."

1 Peter 2:13-14 NIV
Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right.

"Those rules dictate his boundaries. If he steps out of those boundaries, he steps out of my chain of command. I must submit to God first, all else comes second."

Husbands and wives alike must first answer to God.  What each of us do should be God-honoring if we are true children of God.  And if our husbands are loving us as Christ loved the church and is leading in a God-honoring way, we have every reason to submit.

Chapter 16 Cont'd - Ways to Practice Acceptance

Today we will be covering three ways to practice true acceptance.

1.  Receive him with thanksgiving. 

Focusing on the good qualities of our husbands can make us grateful for all they do offer to our marriages.  Focusing more on the good stuff overshadows the faults.  Keeping a positive attitude in life has a huge impact in all areas of our lives.

2.  Recognize his humanity.

I loved this quote in the book and think it sums up this point.  "Wives, our husbands are human beings not soap opera stars, rock stars or runway models.  They are pain and pressure, love and laughter, strength and weakness dwelling within three layers of skin."  We can't put unrealistic expectations on our men anymore than we can put them on ourselves!

3.  Embrace his individuality. 

Oh boy, my husband has quite his own personality and traits.  I have never met anyone like him.  He's funny yet sarcastic, thoughtful and sweet to the point of being too nice.  He's always coming up with new ideas.  There is never a dull moment.   Sometimes that sarcastic side and his ADD personality jumping around from project to project can wear on me.  But I have to remember the way he can make me laugh and his enthusiasm are some of the reasons I fell in love with him. 

With all of this said, we need to remember that our acceptance "doesn't necessarily stand for approval."  But we need to remember his actions are his own responsibility.   As we keep talking about, we must continually strive to be good examples.

1 Peter 3:1-2 NIV

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

We should live our lives to be examples not only to our husbands, but to our family, friends, co-workers and a lost world.

Chapter 16 Cont'd - True Acceptance

Women just love to fix things.  We feel the need to improve and fix - to make things prettier, don't we?  So naturally we get this crazy notion in our heads that we can change our husbands.  Umm...news flash!  That is totally impossible!

"Changing ourselves is such a difficult task, changing another is an impossible one.  We 'accept' one as he is because self-improvement is his personal responsibility - not yours.  By changing our focus we see where he excels and to put in bluntly - where we fail."

God can change a person - all we can do is work on ourselves and pray.  We first need to focus on what we need to change about ourselves to be more Christ-like so we can be a better example.  And we can also pray for God to work in that other person's heart.

Paul said this to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:11-16 when he wrote to him on how to carry out his ministry:

Command and teach these things. Let no one look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in your speech, conduct, love, faithfulness, and purity. Until I come, give attention to the public reading of scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the spiritual gift you have, given to you and confirmed by prophetic words when the elders laid hands on you. Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that everyone will see your progress.  Be conscientious about how you live and what you teach. Persevere in this, because by doing so you will save both yourself and those who listen to you.

This applies to us today as well.  "Set an example for the believers in your speech, conduct, love, faithfulness, and purity."  We have to live our lives in a God-honoring way to be able to have the power to influence others.  We can't have a mindset of "Do as I say, not as I do."

And we have to be truly accepting of our husband and be respectful.  If acceptance is defined as "to accommodate or reconcile oneself to" then Darlene says "By accommodating we make room for his failures, and through reconciliation we reunite ourselves to him."

Just like me, my husband is going to make mistakes.  He's going to have bad days.  His flesh is going to wrestle with his spirit - just like me.  I have to remember to be patient and encourage him - not fly off the handle and tear him down.  Showing my husband true acceptance does not mean that I can't share truth with him a a loving manner.  For us, when we have discussions about Godly living, it really helps us both to admit our weaknesses so we can help each other in those areas.  

Tomorrow we will cover three ways we can practice and apply true acceptance in our marriages.  Please share with the group today if you have anything to add to this.