"Perfect love is perfect self-forgetfulness. Hence when there is love in a home, unselfishness is the law. Each forgets self and lives for others.". J.R. Miller
Do you remember those first days of wedded bliss? You both were so happy and in love. Your love would stand the test of time and you wouldn't turn out like other couples. And then reality set in...responsibilities, commitments, those annoying little habits. The little disagreements turned into petty arguments. And if you're not careful, those arguments get bigger and the blame game starts.
Darlene describes arguments as "our need to shine, our need to be right, our need to be heard." That's a really good description, isn't it? How many times do we keep on because we want to have the last word?
"But when sin entered the world, so did selfish ambition and pride. There was no longer a passion to serve one another, but a knee jerk reaction to protecting one's self. We hear the first account of this with Adam and Eve after they eat from the forbidden tree. Both of them try to put the blame on anyone but themselves.
God's plan for marriage looks much different - "humility, tenderness, grace." When we truly humble ourselves and value others higher than our self, we will focus on them and put our interests aside. God wants us to do this in our marriages.
Philippians 2:2-4 NIV
Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Marriage has been so damaged and skewed by the world. The world view is "I will stick with this marriage thing as long as MY needs are being met." The world needs to see marriages functioning in God's design. It needs to see the beauty of His way. And it's up to His children - us - to provide good examples of unity in marriage.
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