Continuing on Chapter 15 on respect, let's look at the last three ways we can show our husbands respect.
4. Show consideration.
"Your actions toward your husband are a living gauge to growing souls. They watch how we comply, and live accordingly." We need to be very careful how we treat our husbands in front of our children. They are watching every move we make and what we do will influence their outlook on how a marriage should be. Something I have had to work on during my marriage is to never over-rule my husband's decisions on how to discipline the kids. Early on I did with our son, and it caused a major rift between us. Even if we don't agree with a punishment, we should never make it known in front of our kids. A private discussion in a non-condescending and loving way yields much better results.
5. Think highly of him.
I love this quote from Darlene. "Flowers, dates, kissing in the back-seat of a car, and wearing designer jeans, does not a Prince Charming make. But being there through the birth of your child, working hard to take home a paycheck, bringing his family to church, and taking care of you when you’re hurling over the throne, are noble features to be desired in a man. If he has done any or all of those things, he’s worth a second thought. Start to view your husband with high regard, and you’ll find much to be thankful for." This quote really spoke to me on my first read through this book. When I really thought about it, these are the things that are truly noble characters in a husband. The typical dating stuff is nice, but to find a man that is there through the tough stuff - that's even better.
Another thing to think about is how you speak of your husband out in public and in front of your kids. We need to keep a tight rein on our tongues and not criticize our husbands to others, especially our kids. And oh, am I so guilty of this. Sometimes, I just start venting and the words are out there before I even think. Instead of criticism, we must learn to replace the negativity with positive words and build up our husbands to our kids, friends, family and co-workers.
Thessalonians 5:11 NIV
Another thing to think about is how you speak of your husband out in public and in front of your kids. We need to keep a tight rein on our tongues and not criticize our husbands to others, especially our kids. And oh, am I so guilty of this. Sometimes, I just start venting and the words are out there before I even think. Instead of criticism, we must learn to replace the negativity with positive words and build up our husbands to our kids, friends, family and co-workers.
Thessalonians 5:11 NIV
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
4. Reverence is our contribution.
Our husbands must know that we hold them in high esteem. They need to know we admire them. "While husbands are required to love their wives as their own selves, reverence is our contribution to laying the foundation of a Godly marriage. When a man looks at his wife, he’s looking for a reflection of himself in her eyes. A reflection that says, 'I’m worth holding onto,' and 'I mean something to her in this world.'" How we respect our husbands will be a direct reflection of how we feel about him. The more respect we give, the more he will want to be worthy of that respect.
Ephesians 5:32-33 KJV
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
I found this quote online from an unknown source - “If you want a truly fine husband, respect him at the level at which you want him to reach. A man will usually not rise above the level at which his wife respects him.” Wow. It's amazing to think we have that much power over our husbands. When a man looks into the eyes of an adoring wife, he can see his God-given potential. I want my husband to see that in my eyes.
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