Women just love to fix things. We feel the need to improve and fix - to make things prettier, don't we? So naturally we get this crazy notion in our heads that we can change our husbands. Umm...news flash! That is totally impossible!
"Changing ourselves is such a difficult task, changing another is an impossible one. We 'accept' one as he is because self-improvement is his personal responsibility - not yours. By changing our focus we see where he excels and to put in bluntly - where we fail."
God can change a person - all we can do is work on ourselves and pray. We first need to focus on what we need to change about ourselves to be more Christ-like so we can be a better example. And we can also pray for God to work in that other person's heart.
Paul said this to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:11-16 when he wrote to him on how to carry out his ministry:
Command and teach these things. Let no one look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in your speech, conduct, love, faithfulness, and purity. Until I come, give attention to the public reading of scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the spiritual gift you have, given to you and confirmed by prophetic words when the elders laid hands on you. Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that everyone will see your progress. Be conscientious about how you live and what you teach. Persevere in this, because by doing so you will save both yourself and those who listen to you.
This applies to us today as well. "Set an example for the believers in your speech, conduct, love, faithfulness, and purity." We have to live our lives in a God-honoring way to be able to have the power to influence others. We can't have a mindset of "Do as I say, not as I do."
And we have to be truly accepting of our husband and be respectful. If acceptance is defined as "to accommodate or reconcile oneself to" then Darlene says "By accommodating we make room for his failures, and through reconciliation we reunite ourselves to him."
Just like me, my husband is going to make mistakes. He's going to have bad days. His flesh is going to wrestle with his spirit - just like me. I have to remember to be patient and encourage him - not fly off the handle and tear him down. Showing my husband true acceptance does not mean that I can't share truth with him a a loving manner. For us, when we have discussions about Godly living, it really helps us both to admit our weaknesses so we can help each other in those areas.
Tomorrow we will cover three ways we can practice and apply true acceptance in our marriages. Please share with the group today if you have anything to add to this.
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