Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
This last section covers what submission isn't. It's not a license to be controlling to the point of manipulation or coercion. With her own personal experience, I think Darlene did a great job discussing this and I will use mostly her words in this post.
"According to my understanding of scripture, the chain of command looks like this:
2. The Law
3. The Husband
4. The Wife
5. Their Children
Within that chain of command we are given a set of boundaries that must line up with scripture and the ultimate will of God. When we step out of that plan, we step out of the chain of command. Because I am in authority over my children, I do not have the right to abuse them or break the law. I am under submission to God, the law and to my husband, and therefore my sphere of authority is dictated by such."
1 Peter 2:13-14 NIV
Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right.
"Those rules dictate his boundaries. If he steps out of those boundaries, he steps out of my chain of command. I must submit to God first, all else comes second."
Husbands and wives alike must first answer to God. What each of us do should be God-honoring if we are true children of God. And if our husbands are loving us as Christ loved the church and is leading in a God-honoring way, we have every reason to submit.