Respect is acknowledgement. "People want to be acknowledged for who they are, their accomplishments, and the ideas they hold--men, even more-so than women." I see this with my husband. He thrives when I make a conscious effort to acknowledge his accomplishments and praise him for a job well done. And yes, I have to make a conscious effort because one of his primary love languages is words of affirmation and mine is not.
I found the statistic from loveandrespect.com Darlene shared very interesting. When asked how they felt when there was conflict in their marriage "83% of the men said 'disrespected.' 72% of the women said, 'unloved.'" While we need to feel loved, our men want and need our respect.
Darlene shares six different ways to show our husbands respect. I want to touch on the first three today.
1. Let him take the lead.
This does not mean that we don't have a voice. We can share our opinions and desires, but in the end, we need to let our husbands have the final say. As long as his decisions are God-honoring. And we need to do this without complaining, grumbling, or questioning his judgement. I know I have to bite my tongue sometimes and also ask God to help me see the positive and the good over the shortcomings. I need to worry more about my heart. Which leads to the next point.
2. Have a good opinion of him.
"They know when we truly value them, and when we’re putting it on. If we’re accustomed to judging every move they make, it’s time to bridle our tongue, and grab hold of the reins on our thoughts. Focus on the good, let go of the petty judgment." How true. My husband can sense when I question things without me actually speaking the words. I need to squelch those thoughts quickly and divert my attention to what I love about him.
3. Notice him.
"As women, there are times when we like to be noticed for the way that we look, while men usually prefer to be noticed for the things that they do." Men are wired from birth to be providers. They have a strong desire to provide and take care of their family. And they need some kind words and a pat on the back to let them know we appreciate what they are doing. We need to take notice of the things they do and acknowledge and thank them.
Ephesians 5:33 ESV
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
If you did not read it already, here is a link that Darlene shared with us last night on a great blog post about respect. It's definitely worth a few minutes of your time.
http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.ca/2012/11/4-ways-to-respect-man-you-love.html
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