Unrealistic expectations. They are one of the leading causes of marital problems. Aren't they really a problem in all areas of life? Marriages, jobs, friendships, and more.
Why do we have unrealistic expectations in marriage? The simple answer is we are a selfish people. We were born into sin and born selfish - our flesh is in constant battle with our spirit. When the honeymoon is over "we realize the day to day responsibilities and sacrifices required of us aren't what we expected." With our mentality of "What's in it for me" it's no wonder, is it? When we look at marriage selfishly, it becomes all about us and what is being done to meet our needs with little regard for our spouse's needs.
But instead of looking at reality and unexpected responsibilities with dread, what if we actually considered these things in life joy? This statement from Darlene was a great way of changing our outlook. "If you haven't already, you can start by giving up on the question, 'What's in it for me?' and replace the question with, 'What can I offer?' Every time that you work through any of these obstacles with patience, humility and kindness you are building and strengthening your bond of love."
Darlene used an analogy of strength training muscles to build on love. "Think of these stressors as weights that are shaping your 'marriage muscles.' Just like any healthy muscle, your marriage needs strength training." When we change out attitude and start considering it pure joy to offer help and solutions to our every day challenges, we will be building and strengthening our love for our husbands. Our marriages will be strong and lacking nothing.
James 1:2-4 NIV
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
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